he's unhappy, and i can't fix him. he feels inadequate, and i don't know why. and i can't be happy when he's unhappy because i'm too damn worried that he'll go and do something stupid, or that his tentative grasp on reality will fail and i'll lose him forever to his own little world.

i worry a lot. i am a born fucking worrier.

he won't go see a campus therapist because they "fuck with your head". he scares me, reminds me so much of me a year ago...losing grip on happiness.

and i want to fix him so badly. i wish there was an off switch on his back i could switch off and then press reset and all his sadness and guilt would fade away. but i don't have that option.

and so i just sit here, and listen. because i don't know what else to do. but he's so unhappy. and i love him, and could never leave him. but i don't know how much longer i can do this and stay sane...i'm trying so hard to be a whole, happy, healthy person. and i just don't know what to do. what to say.