The Federal Emergency Management Agency scares the fuck out of me. More so than our esteemed president, GeeDubya Bush.

Other things that make me nervous: NASA. The FBI. The Secret Service. The CIA. The NSA. The Department of Homeland Security. Whatever the hell the military is keeping in Hangar 18 at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio. Unmarked helicopters. Martial Law. The face on Mars. The fact that people who try to challenge the "official version" of events, often have nasty "accidents".

My rational mind tells me, "Kate, I know you grew up on watching The X-Files. I know you grew up reading book after book on paranormal phenomena, conspiracy theories, and UFO's. But seriously, why do you even bother me, your rational mind, with this sort of crap when you know perfectly well you could go smoke that pot that's in your fridge and forget about it all..."

This is about the point where I bitchslap my rational mind.

It's so much more fun to entertain the possiblity that perhaps things are not what they seem. That the 1969 moon landing might have been staged in the Nevada desert. That Lee Harvey Oswald didn't kill Jack Kennedy (at least, not without some help, anyway), and that they never actually caught John Wilkes Booth, the man who shot Lincoln.

I am a girl whose grandmother staunchly insists that she saw a UFO while out on her patio on the west side of Des Moines, Iowa, one night.

Of course, Gramma likes rum slushies.

So, you take things as they come.

Still.

I do believe in spooks and little green men and shadow government and that something is fucking in Hangar 18; I do, I do, I do.

and now, i leave you with some soul coughing lyrics. you should like soul coughing too. yes you should.

it goes black black black black and blacker
unmarked helicopters
hovering
the lord is coming soon
unmarked helicopters
hovering
they said it was a weather balloon
it was a weather balloon